Back to work

Mike has been signed off by all possible doctors, trust me when I say there are many many many doctors, to return to his regular firehouse duties. With Mike back on duty, we managed to stay busy with swim lessons, friends, and Mimi and Pa. Mike got some overtime this week as well. We are adjusting to this shift in the schedule, but I know the boys miss him. It’s evidenced by all the constant giggling, screaming, and general ignoring of requests for help.

We aren’t sure what to feel. On the one hand, we are very grateful that Mike isn’t sick, for the whole year and we are looking forward to our family adventures. My 20 year reunion is coming up, boy scout camp for both Stephen and Freddy, not to mention all the regular holidays with Mike being healthy and well. We are so grateful. Lighting candles, prayers and rosaries, burning sage, dances of gratitude, all crazy kinds of grateful. Healthy, that’s the rub. We are and must assume he’s healthy, but we don’t know it. It just nags a little at the back of the mind, what if…..

We are proactive, working towards a more cancer free diet, lots of veggies, less processed sugars, swapping out red wine for beer. We are getting in our regular workouts. Mike is diligent about wearing pants inside of his work gear to give him another layer of protection between the boots and his body. He’s cleaning his gear. We smile whenever we can, because smiling is good for you! (It increases your face value) Seriously, don’t underestimate the power of smiling and being happy, it can add 7 years to your life. And since right now treatment isn’t an option we are doing everything we can to stay positive and healthy. We smile, and stay positive. We eat lots of yummy veggies, and we move forward. We plan for our future together and we enjoy our kids.

 

 

Confusion and Delay

So today is our day. Today we learn the fate of medicine we are relegated to. Today we learn whether our life is hugely challenging for a month and then levels out or whether our life just gets harder as the  year goes on. Today we were once again told to wait. This holding pattern stinks and is not one of my strengths. Then out of nowhere we were told No treatment, no medicine.

Ok? After talking to his oncologist, it seems Mike was not accepted into the clinical trial because of a pre existing condition called sarcoidosis. The only treatment available to us then is interferon, which can exacerbate the sarcoidosis. Currently, Mike is asymptomatic for his sarcoidosis, and his doctors would like to keep it that way. If you’ve followed our blog thus far then you know that surgery alone can be a cure for melanoma. He’s had two surgeries, one to remove the tumor and one to remove a larger margin of tissue. And given that his lymph node is clear and his scans, CT, and MRI have all come back as clear as well, I think the plan is to be watchfully waiting. Mike already has baselines for scans, and blood work. He has several doctors that he works with and will continue to see.

I think we will also seek out a second opinion, just to be sure that we are headed in the right direction. While alone it’s not always enough, in addition to working with our doctors, acupuncturist, we will continue with a healthy life style. I am not totally at peace with this decision as of yet, but it’s only been a couple of hours to digest.

Random tidbits

In the hub bub of the holidays, a few other happenings:

- I taught Sunday school for 3 years, evidently I wasted my time. While unpacking Christmas decorations, Stephen opened a box and announced “mom here’s the Jesus stuff” Not the Nativity, not Baby Jesus in the manger, but the Jesus stuff! Great! Part of my mistake is the fact that the children are not allowed to touch our Nativity as it is ceramic and was made by my mother in law. So I bought the ‘Little People Nativity’ this year, so the kids could interact with the Nativity. It’s been a hit.

- The boys and I did make christmas cookies together, although the icing didn’t turn out too great and as expected it was a giant sugary mess, but again a hit.

- Due to severe allergies in our family, the kids haven’t ever gotten an Advent calendar with the little chocolates, (the labels always read: may contain nuts) Last few years we had an Advent wall hanging, but the kids broke it. We didn’t have an Advent Calendar. Oh well time to go shopping…

- The Advent candles at dinner are hit, mostly due to the lighting and blowing out, but the kids made sure we lit them every night.

- We missed the neighborhood Griswald with the awesome light display but drove by a couple of others. The ‘dancing house’ as we call it, we would usually drive by several times  a day, I mean during the season.

- We got an Elf this year, we had fun finding Jolly every morning, although sometimes Jolly found a happy place and stayed there for 2 or 3 days, in a row… mmm crazy elf

- Freddy has begun his Tae Kwon do classes, is totally stoked, really dedicated, and loving every minute of it! He has already earned his white belt!

- Stephen loves playing his new guitar, even practices, he is however a little frustrated that he doesn’t sound like Bon Jovi, Eric Clapton, or any other great guitarist just yet. It’s only been a week, more practice!

- Theo loves his toys, and his usually joyful 3 year old self.

- Freddy and Stephen are very silly and smile a lot, but that’s good too…. because otherwise they argue about nothing..

Christmas photos

Ok so our new header cut out kids 1 and 2 but still you get the idea of how beautiful it is to ice skate in Evergreen. Here are some cute photos of our Christmas!

Christmas

We survived Christmas. I love the Christmas holiday, however this year proved to be a challenge. Emotions were mixed, happy for health and togetherness, fear and sadness that next year Mike will be sick. The kids seem louder, more rambunctious, and generally crazy. Whether it’s typical pre Christmas behavior, or due to the fact that Mike’s cancer treatment is just around the corner, is anyone’s guess.

We did manage to go ice skating on Christmas eve. We skated last year and this year up at the Evergreen Pond, an outdoor pond/lake. The skate rental and tickets are in a log cabin, the lake is set in the middle of the beautiful Rocky Mountains, picturesque beauty, and the whole place is Norman Rockwellian. Stephen and I faired better than Freddy and Theo, but I’m sure it won’t be long before I sit with Mike and sip cocoa while those three chase each other around. We were tired and grouchy when we got home and decided trying to fit in Christmas eve mass was the wrong choice. We stayed home instead of going mass and that turned out to be a blessing. We got great seats on Christmas morning and heard Christmas eve mass was elbow to elbow,  and traffic backed up to the railroad tracks. As planned, Mom and Dad came over later, and we shared sandwiches, sang and played Christmas carols, and the kids opened their christmas ornaments. We went to bed around 10 only to be awoken at 1045 by a 6 year old who couldn’t sleep. In fact very little sleep was to be had. He tossed and turned all night. (A side note I grew up in a Christmas eve family and we opened our presents, except from Santa on Christmas eve, everyone slept through the night). Mike stayed with him and suffered through lack of sleep.

Theo was the last to wake up at 7! We enjoyed our present opening and Freddy was thrilled to get his very own skate board. Theo opened one present then said, “i’m gonna open one more, just one more mom.” Too Funny! He eventually opened all of them. Stephen liked getting a new skate board, since his last one was run over! Mike sweetly bought me new bedding all in purple, and next up will need to be a new paint color for our room since purple bedding doesn’t quite match the blue and yellow paint on the walls.

We went to Mom and Dads’ house for Christmas dinner and shared the holiday with friends who now seem to be part of our Christmas tradition. Stephen received a child size guitar, and free lessons from Pa are included! Freddy received two more months of Tae Kwon do lessons! And Theo got a new tricycle! Everyone is mostly happy, but being kids theres some non sharing going on…sigh.

We went sledding in town yesterday and had a wonderful surprise visit from one of Stephen’s friends. A special treat since his friend is out of school right now for some health issues. It made Stephen’s day.

We are grateful that everyone has been healthy throughout the holiday season. While we are dreading the treatment, we are ready to move forward and deal with it, but insurance and clinical studies and doctors on holiday are hampering the whole moving forward motion. We wait and are grateful for the time together, we wait and feel afraid of treatment, we wait and do the best we can.

 

Kids and Cancer

This past Saturday we took advantage of an opportunity for the kids to take a class about cancer. We’ve done our best to talk to them, answer questions, stay open with them about everything we are going through. We’ve talked about things they can expect to come along as Mike begins his treatment. Of course we’ve tried to keep things appropriate to their ages. We talked about this class, we told them what things they would see and discuss. They freaked out! Whining and bickering and crying, about not wanting to go, at one point I was ready to turn the van around and go home for times outs. Good thing Mike was driving! We made it to the class, and left the two older kids and headed out for some Christmas shopping.

When we returned our little cherubs had returned to normal, and were very please with everything they learned. The learned about ports, IVs, sickness, and medicines. They visited the infusion center. And they read books about how cancer is a weed in our garden, it just shows up. In short it was good. It opened the door to more conversations some easy, some difficult, but opportunities to clear things up! Kids are easily confused. This whole cancer business started with a mole and one of the boys has a few moles. And clearly he was next up to get surgery and a huge hole in his back. Um no. His moles are fine the doctor already checked them out, and we have measurements and will keep and eye on them, but no cutting needed, whew! Glad we had the conversation, and avoided some nightmares. Another question popped up about will Dad still be a firefighter? And will he get this again? These are tougher to answer. Yes he will still be a firefighter, and he could get it again, but we are working to keep his gear clean and hopefully avoid this in the future. But that question nags at us as well, will he get cancer again from his job? We of course hope not and are taking every precaution we can to prevent it from happening.

We are feeling really hopeful.

Life Keeps Going….

And that is a wonderful blessing! Mike is easily 98% healed from his surgery and at his second follow up the surgeon told him to go back to work… Until he figured out what Mike’s job really entails, potential heavy lifting, and potential water drenching from the fire pumps/hose. So he’s still driving the desk instead of the truck. We enjoy having him home each evening, and on the weekends.

We’ve celebrate all the birthdays. Stephen and Freddy, myself, and just last weekend Theo celebrated at the pool for his big third birthday! For weeks we’ve been talking to Theo about his birthday and that he will turn 3, although he stubbornly said he wouldn’t turn 3, and that he is 2! The morning of his party, we were talking about the fact that we would celebrate him turning 3, to which he replied: I’m not 3, we aren’t at the pool yet. Ha!

We are looking forward to Christmas and some family time. We managed to get our Christmas lights up on the house this last weekend, as well as buy our Christmas tree, and decorate it with help from Mike’s sister and brother in law. So we are in the full swing of the holidays! Kids are on break as of tomorrow! Yay! We’ve got some fun things planned, ice skating, tubing,  and Christmas lights! Thanks again for all the prayers we will need them as Mike begins treatment in the new year!

Post Surgery

Mike endured his second surgery last week, and we are grateful that it’s over. The doctors went back into remove about another inch of tissue all the way around the first surgery. They did another skin graft, taking skin from Mike’s thigh. We were a little blasé, given the fact that the first surgery was a pretty quick recovery with minimal pain. This one was  a little rougher. Mike had more pain and actually took a pain pill to sleep each night. He gimped around half dragging his leg behind him. He does not sit still well. at. all. He does not ask for help. He never complained, but it’s hard to watch loved one in pain. He’s now a week post op, and starting to turn the corner. He can articulate his foot and is almost walking normally. He saw his surgeon and had all the stitches, staples, and packing removed. While everything is healing well, it’s not a pretty sight. (there’s a reason I’m a teacher and not a doctor or surgeon.) From here we plan on enjoying the rest of the holiday season and we will schedule treatments early in the new year. Thank you once again for all of your prayers and kind words of support!

PET scan, surgery, and Turkey

Mike had a PET scan last week. He laid down in a tubular machine, trying to remain perfectly still (a real challenge for him),  while his arms fell asleep. The scan looked everywhere in his organs, and if a tumor was hanging out, it would’ve shown up. He did not have any tumors! We are thrilled to the gills!

He also went in today for more surgery on his leg. They removed a wider margin of tissue, around the area the tumor had been. This was more precautionary and preemptive that anything. I think it’s good. He, of course, is a rock star and did great. He woke up quickly from anasteasia. We left to grab a quick cup of coffee with his sister, who was in the neighborhood. He’s resting and relaxing here at home. Everything fell into place from my awesome sub (people she arrived at 630 am!), kids getting taken care of by my parents(my dad got here at 500am!), to getting kids to school, just everything fell into place.

We are looking forward to a wonderful Thanksgiving with our family, and a long relaxing weekend. Mike still thinks he’s going to do some cooking on Thanksgiving, but we’ll keep him out of the kitchen as much as we can. (Perhaps, I’ll store the scotch by the television, LOL!) Thank you to everyone for your prayers, good thoughts, and kind words! We are hoping you enjoy a wonderful holiday with your loved ones!

Bowling Birthday!

As you may know, Stephen and Freddy’s birthdays are just 2 days apart. We typically celebrate their birthdays together. (so far they let me get away with this, in part because they have a lot of the same friends) We decided to have a bowling birthday party at the Brunswick Zone. I highly recommend it! My mom and I laughed at how things have changed, since I had my own bowling birthday party 20 plus years ago.

Twenty years ago, Mom reserved two bowling lanes, bought, wrote out and sent out the invitations, bought party favors on her own, suffered through 10 giggling girls trying to bowl in our lane, (we didn’t always succeed, as our neighboring bowler could attest). After  bowling we went back to our house where mom then bought us pizza, and served cake and tried to sleep through, 10 girls giggling into the night.

Today, you pay a fee, you show up, and everything is done for you! Invitations that could be printed were emailed to us, along with thank you notes! We arrived early, but didn’t need to! The whole place was birthday parties, so it was full of kids and families! Not a beer bottle or cigarette in sight! (Well there was beer at the bar and the bar was open! Bonus!) At Brunswick we had our own “Party Hero” who coordinated everything: she led dances like limbo, macarena and the like, typed in kids names on the computerized score board, set up bumpers on the bowling lanes for kids who wanted bumpers (we didn’t even have those when I was a kid!) set out shoes and name tags, served pizza, and soda. Once the bowling got started, the lights were down low, colorful strobe lights danced to the rocking music, such as the Spice Girls, and Bon Jovi. All the party goers received a coupon for another free game. Our package also included “game tokens”, which today is a plastic debit type care preloaded with money for the kids to spend in the arcade.

I would say, I’d do this again if the boys want it or even for Theo,when he’s older. Things I wish I’d known, to bring glow necklaces for the kids to wear in the darkened bowling alley, how to work my camera in low light, and not to worry about anything. It was a fun time.